Scintillectually Yours

I am positively certain that Susie Bright did not have a long distance relationship in mind when she developed this gem of an adult game. However, this little game has provided hours of thought-provoking conversation and real intimacy for DPR and I, by cell phone, 900 miles apart. I will expand upon that part in a bit but first let me fill you in on the details

I happen to love games, particularly those that are smart and naughty at the same time. So when Good Vibrations Sex Toys offered this up for review, I jumped all over it! I Dare You is a classy game. First of all, it completely appeals to the designer in me. The box is covered in a discrete red and black Victorian pattern and is tied with a black satin ribbon. It is so lovely that I keep it on my nightstand at all times. Encased within a black velvet lining are 30 crisp white cards sealed within creamy envelopes accented by a slightly paler and rather baroque border. Half of the cards are I Dare You… cards and the other half are Tell Me… cards. Lest you think the dares are going to be extremely explicit and perhaps give you assignments you don’t want to complete, I’d like to set the record straight: Ms. Bright maintained her sense of class throughout.

Let me back up a bit to tell you about our experiences with this game and how it helps to keep us from losing our intimate connection even when we go weeks upon weeks without seeing each other. We save the Dare cards for those times that we are together, and open the Tell Me cards while we’re on the phone. I don’t want to quote any of the questions because that would give away all the fun but they range from describing fantasies to telling personal anecdotes about past experiences. Some of these questions have brought up a lot of controversial discussions for us. They’ve opened our eyes to things we may not have revealed to each other, let alone ourselves. They provide titillating foreplay to some really hot phone sex. And, sadly, I think we’ve gone through them all.

The exciting part is that we have yet to explore all the Dare cards! I have not cheated and looked at those we haven’t tried yet. In less than two weeks, I will be living two miles down the road from my beloved and you can be sure we will be enjoying this game for quite awhile. Honestly, the Dares are so sweetly sensual and erotic that after one or two cards, you just can’t help but push the box aside and go for it. I do have to say that one of my favorites (spoiler alert!) was to have DPR blindfold me, put on something very simple (in her case, she got a button-down shirt), and I had to take it off of her. It was a beautifully sensory experience and I look forward to her turn to do the same to me.

So, while the product itself may not bring you to a mind-blowing orgasm, it may just lead you and your partner there. If nothing else, it absolutely brings two people closer together. It is a romantic, well-thought-out, intellectual game that can connect two people no matter where in the world they happen to be. Oh, and at only $14.95 this one is a don’t miss!

Good Vibrations Sex Toys does not pay me for my honest opinions but I do get to keep all of the products I review.

Okay folks, I am WAY behind on my reviews. I’ve got toys, books, and videos piled up and just waiting for me to get on the stick and write them all up. Sadly, I’m also behind on my deadlines for my *REAL* job, as well, but I’ll do my best to get these babies cranked out.

Speaking of behind (ahem), who doesn’t already know that I just adore buttsecks? True, very true. I do have a slight passion for anal (caveat: DPR and I recently attempted this with her rather girthy cock, normally not an issue, but it seems I was recovering from the start of an anal fissure  just inside my rectum. I don’t recommend this as a way to avoid surgery, but let’s just say that a week later I still fear the toilet). Even so, I’ve never given my little pleasure hole the respect she deserves when masturbating; so when Christina at TabuToys offered me the Handmaiden Anal Dildo for solo review, I was a little bemused. But hey, being trysexual, I greedily accepted the challenge.

The toy itself is a treat to behold. It’s ergonomically designed for solo-friendly use. You hold the base in your hand and tuck your fingers into the handle to guide this baby in at just the right angle. (Note: make sure you have LOTS of lube on hand.) The material, platinum-cured silicone, feels fantastic. It’s made for power play so you can be as rough as you want and this sweet Handmaiden will play right along with you. At 5″ x 1.25″ she isn’t for beginners but, hey, it’s not the size of a forearm either!

I have to admit that I had a little trouble getting her in at first but then again, I’m working around that C-section/hysterectomy pouch (you know,, the one I plan to install a zipper in?). Sometimes I think they need to take us slightly more zaftig girls into consideration. Anyhoo, once in, I had a lovely time of it, with DPR on the phone with me the whole time (LOVE these long-distance sex sessions). I told her everything I was feeling and how I felt about it, right down to the fact that I, personally, am not that fond of the ridges in the tip. Others might really enjoy the extra sensation, but they began to annoy me. Maybe the lube was wearing thin. I wasn’t using my usual Astroglide… or would that be Ass-troglide in this case?

I’d really like to try some of the other Handmaiden toys. I understand they have a lovely G-spot stimulator that looks similar to the anal dildo. I don’t know how often I’ll be using this one on my own but next time DPR and I are together, I’ll have to remember to pull the Handmaiden out of her lovely silver satin pouch and put her to better use.

Because I needed a little extra (clitoral) stimulation to get to the center of the tootsie pop, I’m giving the Handmaiden Anal Dildo an enthusiastic Ohhhh! Bottoms’s up!

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Product Specifications:

•  100% medical-grade, platinum-cured silicone

• 5” by 1.25” textured shaft

• Phthalate and latex-free

While TabuToys does not pay me for my honest opinions, I do get to keep everything I review.

It’s the perfect cock

I’m not kidding. DPR and I have been on the lookout for a replacement for the Cybercock we bought during her second trip here and my dear friend, John, at Pervalicious.com volunteered to send me the Vixskin Bandit to try out. I’ll just tell you this right now. There is no need to try any other realistic dildo and with a lifetime warranty, I hope I never have to!

If you have never had any experience with Vixskin products (from Vixen Creations), let me extol the many virtues. It feels much like the real thing (and yeah, you’re gonna say “you’re a dyke, how would you know?” Trust me, sweetheart, been there, done that, have many nasty stains on many a t-shirt.); it is much firmer than cyberskin (which, incidentally, tends to tear at the base if you suck too hard or have overactive PC muscles) but has a wonderful soft, flexible outer “skin.”

Okay, I’m a bit of a size queen so I tend to go for larger rather than smaller, but no so large that I end up puncturing a lung every time we have sex. The Bandit is perfect for me at 7 1/2″ x 1 5/8″. Pervalicious.com does carry a wide variety of lengths and widths, both with and without balls—all of which are perfect for harnesses with O-rings. I will say that the Bandit, while much easier to control during intercourse (both vaginally and anally), has some drawbacks when it comes to oral sex. The Cybercock is extremely flexible and just begs to be taken into your mouth. You really need some control over your gag reflex if you are going to deep-throat the Bandit. Also, because it is made of silicone, it tends to squeak a bit against the teeth and if you are easily distracted (as I am) you might need to work a bit harder to avoid the teeth-against-the-head action.

If you are looking for a truly perfect, realistic dildo, look no further. The Vixskin line (and the Bandit, in particular) is the perfect cock. It is boilable, wearable, controllable, and comfortable. At around $100 each (depending on size), it may seem a little pricey. Trust me, worth every penny and then some. Unless you throw this baby under a bus or hand it to your Rottweiller as a chew toy, you will never need to buy another. So…what are you waiting for?

The Bandit? He gets a very enthusiastic YES! YES! YES!

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Pervalicious.com does not pay me for my honest opinions but I do get to keep the products I am sent for review.

Step 1: Ooh and aah over the design and packaging of the Onyé Fleur vibrator sent by Babeland for review (notice the change in breathing as anticipation sets in).

Step 2: Voraciously rip open packaging to get at beautiful lilac bullet vibrator with its stunningly gorgeous textured grip. Yank three brand new AAA batteries out of drawer in kitchen while doing so.

Step 3: Locate directions and puzzle over them for approximately 20 minutes. Seriously.

Step 4: Try every possible combination of battery insertion. Open and close vibrator multiple times. Keep jamming finger in button at bottom hoping the damn thing turns on (note change in breathing is now in pure frustration).

Step 5: Throw batteries at the wall and throw Onyé Fleur into toybag and let it sit there for several days as punishment.

Step 6: Try again.

Step 7: Repeat Step 5.

Step 8: Contact Babeland. Receive additional instructions on inserting batteries.

Step 9: Try to locate the two orange dots to line up before closing vibrator. Decide there are a) no dots to be found, or b) I’m going blind.

Step 10: Repeat Step 5.

Step 11: Look up any and all reviews previously written for the Onyé Fleur. Have a jealous fit that all of THOSE women are enjoying multiple orgasms with their vibrators.

Step 12. Contact Babeland again and get information on returning the evidently defective merchandise.

Step 13. Pull Onyé Fleur out of toy bag to give it one last shot at battery insertion before returning the damn thing. Push top and bottom half together until they click audibly then turn slightly twice to the left and hit on button.

Step 14. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Step 15. Lay back and give this baby a new category of “Oh Fucking Finally!!!” while enjoying the hell out of the powerful little beauty.

Step 16. Use her often and well.

Step 17. Pray that her batteries last forever.

Product Description:

• Size: 4-1/2″ x 1-1/4”
• Material: Hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Three AA

I do not get paid by Babeland for my honest opinions, but I do get to keep all of the products I am sent for review.

I can’t TELL you how excited I am that my review of the LELO Elise Sweet Plum Vibrator was chosen as this week’s Editor’s Pick! This was only the second review I’ve done so I’m purty darn proud of myself right now. Thanks, Ms. Scarlet!

via visualizeus

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days.

Did you miss Pleasurists #53? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #55? Submit it here before Sunday November 22nd at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Jimmyjane Massage Candle Giveaway Deadline: November 17th @ 5pm Eastern.
• Happy Blogiversary to Me Contest! Deadline: November 18th.
• The Big, Bad, Banner Contest – win some Njoy! Deadline: November 21 @ 11:59 pm.
• Gender Carnival! Deadline: November 21st @ midnight Eastern.
• ToyDemon.com Gift Certificate Giveaway Deadline: November 30th @ noon Eastern.
• The S Spot Sexy Short Story Contest! Deadline: November 30th.
• Luxury Sex Toy Scavenger Hunt Deadline: December 12th @ midnight Pacific.
• Tons of Glass Contest! Deadline: December 27th @ 11:59 Eastern.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• LELO Ella by Victoria

• People may have no idea just how much pleasure and perfect g-spot stimulation that unassuming hunk of silicone provides. (Those fools!)
  Also, you may want to use Ella as a pretend phone, or let your other toys argue with your cats about it. Just a little suggestion of my own.

  Note: While there were many wonderful reviews this week and the EP was a difficult choice I was won over by the wonderfully amusing and fantastic pictures that accompany this review. Talk bubbles, kitties, and attempts to use a sex toy as a phone (among other amusing antics) set the review apart while the text gives you more of the usual toy information. I love it.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Evolved Flutter by Beautiful Dreamer
• Thumbelina by N
• The Eroscillator by Shay
• Classic 7 Function Monkey by Amanda
• The Wave by Amorous Rocker
• Papaya Toys Candy Stick by Ashley
• Vibratex Mystic Wand by EffinSara
• i10 Dancer Salsa by Amy

Dildos

• The Vamp by Beautiful Dreamer
• Candy Colored Glass Dildo by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Don Wands Candy Cane by Scintillectual
• The Vamp by Amber of DivergentDance
• Tantus G-Force Wand by Toygirl

Anal Toys

• Amber Plug by Cinnamon
• Crystal Chic Wand by True Pleasures
• Tantus Little Flirt by EffinSara

Toys for Cocks

• SuccuDry Masturbation Sleeve by Shay

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Intimate Organics Cleansing Gel and Body Souffle by Wilhelmina Wang
• System JO Anal Silicone Lube by ScottA
• Strawberry Shortcake Body Butter by Eliot Bodem
• B-Warm Massage Candle by Eliot Bodem
• Babeland Massage Bar by Shay
• Dr. Love Silkening Lube by Carrie Ann
• Earthly Body Massage and Body Oil by Sexorcism
• Intimate Organics Foot Foreplay Lotion by Carrie Ann

BDSM/Fetish

• Heart Lock Collar by Mistress Kay
• Chrome and Leather Crop by Undressed Reviews
• Alligator Nipple Clamps by Wendy Blackheart
• Leatherbeaten Dragon Silk Wrist Restraints by Laruel

Adult Books/Games

• Best of thee Best Women’s Erotica by Amber of DivergentDance
• Truth or Dare by Beautiful Dreamer
• Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Adult Movies/Porn

• Courtney Trouble’s Seven Minutes in Heaven by Beautiful Dreamer
• Midori’s Guide to Sensual Bondage by Beautiful Dreamer
• Manuel Ferrara Does Them All! Vol. 2 – Disc One by The Porn Librarian
• Ultra Flesh by FrzKey
• Queer Manor by J.D. Bauchery
• Love On the Highway by The Porn Librarian
• Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes (Disc 1) Scene 1 by J.D. Bauchery
• The 8th Day by Eliot Bodem

Lingerie

• Liberator Personal Secretary by Sinclair Sexsmith
• Darque Nurse by Beautiful Dreamer
• Coquette Polka-dot Mesh Corset by Sleeping Dreamer
• Bondage Bettie by True Pleasures

Storage

• Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox by Undressed Reviews

Miscellaneous

• Pjur Med Clean by Undressed Reviews
• Talking Sheep Love Doll by Tales From the Porn Store
• JimmyJane Indulgences Set by Sammi