Scintillectually Yours

Okay folks, I am WAY behind on my reviews. I’ve got toys, books, and videos piled up and just waiting for me to get on the stick and write them all up. Sadly, I’m also behind on my deadlines for my *REAL* job, as well, but I’ll do my best to get these babies cranked out.

Speaking of behind (ahem), who doesn’t already know that I just adore buttsecks? True, very true. I do have a slight passion for anal (caveat: DPR and I recently attempted this with her rather girthy cock, normally not an issue, but it seems I was recovering from the start of an anal fissure  just inside my rectum. I don’t recommend this as a way to avoid surgery, but let’s just say that a week later I still fear the toilet). Even so, I’ve never given my little pleasure hole the respect she deserves when masturbating; so when Christina at TabuToys offered me the Handmaiden Anal Dildo for solo review, I was a little bemused. But hey, being trysexual, I greedily accepted the challenge.

The toy itself is a treat to behold. It’s ergonomically designed for solo-friendly use. You hold the base in your hand and tuck your fingers into the handle to guide this baby in at just the right angle. (Note: make sure you have LOTS of lube on hand.) The material, platinum-cured silicone, feels fantastic. It’s made for power play so you can be as rough as you want and this sweet Handmaiden will play right along with you. At 5″ x 1.25″ she isn’t for beginners but, hey, it’s not the size of a forearm either!

I have to admit that I had a little trouble getting her in at first but then again, I’m working around that C-section/hysterectomy pouch (you know,, the one I plan to install a zipper in?). Sometimes I think they need to take us slightly more zaftig girls into consideration. Anyhoo, once in, I had a lovely time of it, with DPR on the phone with me the whole time (LOVE these long-distance sex sessions). I told her everything I was feeling and how I felt about it, right down to the fact that I, personally, am not that fond of the ridges in the tip. Others might really enjoy the extra sensation, but they began to annoy me. Maybe the lube was wearing thin. I wasn’t using my usual Astroglide… or would that be Ass-troglide in this case?

I’d really like to try some of the other Handmaiden toys. I understand they have a lovely G-spot stimulator that looks similar to the anal dildo. I don’t know how often I’ll be using this one on my own but next time DPR and I are together, I’ll have to remember to pull the Handmaiden out of her lovely silver satin pouch and put her to better use.

Because I needed a little extra (clitoral) stimulation to get to the center of the tootsie pop, I’m giving the Handmaiden Anal Dildo an enthusiastic Ohhhh! Bottoms’s up!

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Product Specifications:

•  100% medical-grade, platinum-cured silicone

• 5” by 1.25” textured shaft

• Phthalate and latex-free

While TabuToys does not pay me for my honest opinions, I do get to keep everything I review.