Scintillectually Yours

In the throes of a migraine, I don’t have much to say this week other than that I’m happy to have another couple of wonderful shots that DPR took during her stay here. Be sure to visit Osbasso for more HNT goodness!

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It’s the perfect cock

I’m not kidding. DPR and I have been on the lookout for a replacement for the Cybercock we bought during her second trip here and my dear friend, John, at Pervalicious.com volunteered to send me the Vixskin Bandit to try out. I’ll just tell you this right now. There is no need to try any other realistic dildo and with a lifetime warranty, I hope I never have to!

If you have never had any experience with Vixskin products (from Vixen Creations), let me extol the many virtues. It feels much like the real thing (and yeah, you’re gonna say “you’re a dyke, how would you know?” Trust me, sweetheart, been there, done that, have many nasty stains on many a t-shirt.); it is much firmer than cyberskin (which, incidentally, tends to tear at the base if you suck too hard or have overactive PC muscles) but has a wonderful soft, flexible outer “skin.”

Okay, I’m a bit of a size queen so I tend to go for larger rather than smaller, but no so large that I end up puncturing a lung every time we have sex. The Bandit is perfect for me at 7 1/2″ x 1 5/8″. Pervalicious.com does carry a wide variety of lengths and widths, both with and without balls—all of which are perfect for harnesses with O-rings. I will say that the Bandit, while much easier to control during intercourse (both vaginally and anally), has some drawbacks when it comes to oral sex. The Cybercock is extremely flexible and just begs to be taken into your mouth. You really need some control over your gag reflex if you are going to deep-throat the Bandit. Also, because it is made of silicone, it tends to squeak a bit against the teeth and if you are easily distracted (as I am) you might need to work a bit harder to avoid the teeth-against-the-head action.

If you are looking for a truly perfect, realistic dildo, look no further. The Vixskin line (and the Bandit, in particular) is the perfect cock. It is boilable, wearable, controllable, and comfortable. At around $100 each (depending on size), it may seem a little pricey. Trust me, worth every penny and then some. Unless you throw this baby under a bus or hand it to your Rottweiller as a chew toy, you will never need to buy another. So…what are you waiting for?

The Bandit? He gets a very enthusiastic YES! YES! YES!

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Pervalicious.com does not pay me for my honest opinions but I do get to keep the products I am sent for review.

1. Have you ever broken something in someone’s home unknown to them and never told them? If yes, explain.

Not that I can recall. I have however, been known to take things that didn’t belong to me and not ‘fess up. For instance, when I was 15 I babysat for this young single mother and she kept this gorgeous ivory pipe in a drawer. She paid me well enough that I could have gone to the nearest headshop and bought my own, but I coveted this thing…and seriously, are you actually going to confront your babysitter about your missing pot pipe? Probably should have jacked the plants that she was growing on her windowsill as well, but that would have been harder to explain to the ‘rents.

Bonus (optional): How many times have you thought about sex in the last 24 hours? What triggered it? Who did it involve? Provide as much details as you like.
How about nearly constantly? I’m fluctuating between bouts of grief at DPR’s leaving and moments of utter wetness reliving all of the amazing experiences we’ve had over the past two weeks. Last night was tough…here’s TMI…I wasn’t ready to change the sheets yet and climbed into a completely funky bed, happily reveling in the smell of US and thoughts of the last time we made love before she left. Damn, my baby boi is one unbelievably hot lover. Sigh…horny again…fabulous.

I talked my darling DPR into staying an extra week and I’m afraid we’ve been spending a lot of our free time in bed. Hence, I’m far behind in writing and posting my Wicked Wednesday erotica and the plethora of sex toy reviews (although, let me tell you…MUCH more fun to try them out with someone else!). I promise I’ll be back on my game next week, but in the meantime, here’s the second installment in the silver and wine series. Enjoy and be sure to check out Osbasso’s View from the Back Row for more HNT goodness!

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I realize I’ve been remiss in posting this last week. DPR is staying yet another week (much to my absolute and utter delight—all I had to do was ask once and she was on the phone with USAir changing her ticket) so I’m making the most of our time together. *grin* However, I can’t pass up a chance to get in on a MicroFantasy Monday assignment and Ang, our dear Sweltering Celt, has challenged us with “The Edge.” Enjoy!

You play me like a finely-tuned Stradivarius—pulling me taut at the brink of orgasm, slowly withdrawing and releasing me into utter frustration. Your hands lovingly caress my curves (on my side I lie, your fingers tracing the violin-like shape of my torso, my waist, my hip). You linger at my neck and your touch tugs my heart-strings.

pluck. pluck. pluck.

You tease and taunt my clit, then draw your hand along the length of my cunt pulling forth the music of my arousal. I vibrate with your every stroke. Moan and keen and call out your very name.

Crescendo and decrescendo. You are relentless as you chase the grace notes of my impending climax. Finally, gratefully, you let me let go and I fall

shattered

splintered

satiated

over the edge.

HHNT, y’all! DPR is here (but it’s already Thursday and I’m preparing to sell a kidney to keep her here for at least another week—I can’t bear the thought of taking her to the airport Saturday) and has worked her usual magic with the camera. I have this fabulous huge burgundy chair in my bedroom and I do believe that the pics we took last night will last well into the weeks between this visit and the next. I worked a little Photoshop magic of my own and came up with this little beauty. Be sure to click through for the full color explosion that happens when you mix burgundy lace and silver satin. Oh! And don’t forget to visit Os for all the HNT goodness!

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The well-worn shammy felt like an old friend in the palm of my hand as I rubbed out a midtone on the light gray Canson paper. I selected the firmest charcoal from the box and looked up at you sitting in the oriental, octagonal armchair that I covet, one arm on your upper thigh, the other draped across the wooden back. I began to rough out a gesture of your pose as you held still but watched me intently. I felt your eyes upon me every time I bent head to paper.

It had been years, more than a decade actually, since I had drawn from life. This was my one true passion and the one thing I had left behind, neglected, when my son was born. But I was inspired by your own passion for your art and the warmth of your studio—inviting me in to pick up the tools that would satiate my desire to capture a moment of you. Now that I had the basics down, I took a white conté crayon and began to work out the highlights; your defined angles and symmetrical features thrown into sharp contrast by a single bulb in the corner of the room. I began to lose myself in the work. My eye roaming every inch of you, my charcoal tracing your jawline, jutting collarbone, slight curve of your small breast, hint of your nipple hardened under my gaze. You smile when I catch my lower lip between my teeth in concentration and I admonish you not to move.

Finally, I have worked out the shadow in your jeans, thrown into bas relief by the cock I had asked you to strap on for the piece. I wanted to catch your true androgyny. The softness of your eyes and the fullness of your lips. Ripe. Delicious. The slight giveaway to your biological gender visible through your thin ribbed tank. The bulge in your jeans that calls my name and knows the deepest parts of me. Your strong, calloused hands, masculine and yet oh-so-graceful. I realized my breathing had become shallow, more rapid. The drawing was done, but I was not.

I set the work aside, leaning it against the wall facing away from you. I wasn’t ready to show it to you yet. I crawled across the floor as you studied me curiously, half smile crossing your handsome face. I pushed your legs gently apart, leaving black handprints on both thighs, and knelt between them. More marks of me upon your white tank as I pulled it over your head. You grinned and my brow furrowed. This, this, was serious business. I wasn’t done drawing. I reached over and selected a very thick, soft piece of charcoal. Your eyes followed my hand as I resumed my position and began to very slowly and deliberately draw a dotted pattern on your skin, evoking Maori tattoos. My line moved from the hollow in the base of your throat down your chest to circle one nipple. I made swirls within swirls that outlined your ribcage and moved across the flat of your torso. I drew the charcoal down until I was stopped mid-line by your belt buckle. I looked up at you, questioningly, and you understood and complied.

Your hands deftly undid your belt, and then, at my urging, you carefully and quietly unbuttoned your fly and pushed your jeans aside like the flaps of a circus tent, leaving me an opening to what I really wanted. I resumed my line, briefly, and ended in an arrow pointing to your cock. Now I tossed away the charcoal and wiped my hands clean upon my own jeans. I leaned in and caught your lower lip between my teeth, eliciting the perfect moan before I pulled at your boxers slightly. I grasped your cock, freeing it from its confines. You moved down in the chair, gaining the advantage of a better viewpoint…

and I descended upon you.

I started at the base of your shaft, running my tongue the full 7 ½” length of you. You made a noise, small and gutteral, and your fist clenched in my peripheral vision. I took the head of your cock into my mouth and looked up into your eyes. Oh, I love knowing that you are watching me and knowing how much it excites you. I’m not daft. I may pretend I don’t know the effect I have upon you, but trust me, I do. I so do.

My lips part slightly so that you can see the head of your cock resting upon my tongue. In that second, though, I dip my head downward and swallow every inch of you and you groan loudly. I toy with you for a bit. Tease you. Make you truly want it. My hand cradles your balls and every time I take you down the back of my throat, I increase the pressure, pushing your balls into your rock-hard clit and easing off again.

Now you grab a fistful of my hair (as short as it is) and put one hand upon my shoulder. Your thighs quiver and I reach up and rake my nails down your torso smearing charcoal across your flesh. Your hips grind into me and you squeeze my arm, urging me to pick up the pace. When I sneak a glance at you, your head is thrown back, your eyes are shut. You speak of how it feels (you can feel it, you can feel it). Soon you push my head down hard and tremble and shudder, moan and say my name over and over. Your orgasm is powerful and protracted. You open your eyes and I am watching you. All you can do is play in my hair and hold my face and you are completely open and vulnerable and happy.

I climb upon your lap and kiss you deeply. I pull my sweater over my head and now my breasts, pressed against your chest, bear marks that mirror the design I had drawn upon you. Marks that echo the one you’ve etched upon my heart forever.

Britni C by Deborah KolbWelcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #68? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #70? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Happy Birthday Giveaway Deadline: March 18th @ Noon Eastern.
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Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #9

Editor’s Pick

• Tantus Hoss by Sammi

• Hoss is enormous. Humongous. Gigantic. Bigger than big. He makes Randy look like a beginner’s toy (and Randy most definitely is not).

  Editor’s Note: This is a seriously impressive review because, among other things, Hoss is a seriously impressive toy. I thought it a fitting EP for an impressive edition both in number (69) and in review count (80).

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Fun Factory Bubbles by Jessie Beth
• Fun Factory Bubbles by Sarahbear
• Fun Factory Bubbles by Dani Darling
• Fun Factory Bubbles by Sexorcism
• Fun Factory Bubbles by PrettyPowerTools
• Sqweel by FunseXXXtoys Chick
• Bcurious by Sammi
• MiVibe Necklace by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System by Epiphora
• Eroscillator 2 vs. Synergy Pleasure System by PrettyPowerTools
• Handbag Hercules Pocket Rocket by Mistress Kay
• Remote Controlled Egg by Jessie Beth
• Hitachi Magic Wand Executive Pack by Joanna Cake
• Kissa by Muffyspingulove
• Aqua Rabbit by Jessie Beth
• Harmonia by Kristi
• Heart’s Desire Teaser by Dani Darling
• Little Su Tulip by Red
• CyberGlass Swirl Micro Mini by la petite
• Aqua Rabbit by Jessie Beth
• Calla Lily by Luvasaurus
• My Pet Vibrator by Kynky Kytty

Dildos

• Jollies Jollet by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• Jollies Jollet by Epiphora
• Tantus Rascal O2 by Sarahbear
• LELO Ella by Scintillectual
• Tantus G-Force by Ginger Leigh
• Tantus G-Force by Saraid
• Vixen Vixskin vs. Tantus O2 by Carrie Ann
• Goldfrau by Red
• Don Wands Pleasure Wand by la petite

Anal Toys

• Tantus B-Bomb by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• GoodVibes Sidekick 1 by True Pleasures
• Assberry by Curvaceous Dee
• Assberry by LivingFire
• Crystal Delights by PrettyPowerTools

Toys for Cocks

• Vibrating support plus extended head exciter by Laurel
• Succu Dry Fleshlight by Epiphora
• Succu Dry Fleshlight by The Masturbator
• Chocolate Party Hats by PrettyPowerTools

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Bswish Bwarm Massage Candle by Mistress Kay
• System JO Warming Massage Glide by Rayne
• Intimate Organics Discover by Carrie Ann
• Wet Together Ultimate Pleasure Gels by Mina

BDSM/Fetish

• Incoqnito Lambskin Collar by True Pleasures
• Incoqnito Lambskin Collar by Pretty Power Tools
• Aslan Silicone Ballgag by Amber from DivergentDance
• Crave Wrist Restraints by Sammi
• Hog Tie and Cuff Set by Mistress Kay
• Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraints by Dani Darling
• Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraints by EffinSara
• Silicone Bit Gag by Alpine Subdreams
• Leather Slut Impression Paddle by Alpine Subdreams
• HappyTails Elk Leather Flogger by ThePinkPoppet
• Door Jam Cuff Set by BDGuy

Adult Books

• Sexoku – A Sex Trivia Game Book by Mistress Kay
• The Big Book of Sex Toys by Epiphora

Adult Movies & Porn

• Billy Castro Does the Mission by Epiphora
• Corruption by Mistress Kay
• Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality by Garnet Joyce
• Sex: How to Do Everything by The Duchess
• Deep Throat by J.D. Bauchery
• Jenny & Marie’s Award Show Fiasco by FrzKey
• Beef Jerky – 420 Stroker by The Porn Librarian
• True Fucking Love by J.D. Bauchery
• Panty Flash Teacher by FrzKey

Lingerie

• Schoolgirl Costume by Akame
• Red Satin and Lace Bustier by Juliettia
• Schoolgirl Costume by Angel deSanguine

Storage

• Eden Fantasys Toy Pouch by Carrie Ann
• Toi Tissue Bocks by Carrie Ann
• Original Toi Bocks by Carrie Ann

Miscellaneous

• Spareparts Joque Harness Large by Sarahbear
• Cleopatra Clit Clip Review by Dani Darling
• Tools of the Trade Kit by Jessie Beth
• Smartballs Teneo Uno by PrettyPowerTools
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Sarahbear
• Pleasure Me Purse by Dani Darling
• Go Girl by PrettyPowerTools

My darling DPR is flying in on Friday and because I know we’ll be playing with the camera quite a bit (in the midst of playing with each other, no doubt), I am going to go ahead and post the best of the shots she took of me when I was visiting her in February. It’s a bit of an odd mix and there were four that I had trouble choosing between, so please *clicky-click* for the third and fourth in the series. Next week should prove to be a lot of fun as we both have plenty of ideas in mind. Be sure to visit Osbasso for more HNT goodness!

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