I’m all about the g-spot. Seriously, folks, once I learned how to ejaculate it became an almost full-time obsession with me. I hardly wanted to do anything else. I craved that release like a drug. And then I stopped. Well, more to the point, I broke up with former HTB and I couldn’t do it anymore. It was as though the act was inexorably tied to him and I developed this mental block that I couldn’t break down. Learning how to ejaculate on my own, through masturbation, became my goal. Hence, anytime a g-spot toy was offered for review I was all over it. Then Babeland offered up the ultimate—the G-spot Kit. I couldn’t wait to get my hot little hands on it. Months ago. Literally.

The kit is actually just two items: the book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot, and the vibrator, the Orchid G. Let’s talk about the book.

Violet Blue, sex educator and best-selling author, has written a clear, concise instruction manual that best serves the g-spot novice. She discusses anatomy and includes drawings that are helpful in locating yours if you don’t already know where it is. There are some excellent tips on getting started, helpful positions, and a discussion about g-spot orgasms with and without ejaculation. I was, of course, most curious about squirting and how to start again. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know but I kept hoping that if I just kept at the techniques, someday that block would get bulldozed away and I’d be gushing all over the place. What I really liked about the book was the little pieces of erotica, written by Alison Tyler, that dot the book and provide some relief from the instructional pace. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who has yet to experience the intense, very different sensation of a g-spot orgasm.

Now let’s move on to the Orchid G. It doesn’t look like much when you get it. It isn’t one of those fancy Lelo vibrators and, let’s face it, it’s cheap. It is made of plastic and is 8″ long with a bulbous end that is angled for perfect g-spot stimulation. Now I’ve read other reviews written by women who say they’ve had a difficult time with insertion. At 1 3/8″ at the widest point, this was not an issue for me at all. What is an issue for me, however, is that there is no real way of knowing which way the damn thing is pointing once it is inside. I know, I know, you think I could probably drive a Mac truck through my pussy. DPR can attest to the fact that that is definitely NOT the case. I’m as tight as a drum, thank you very much. However, once I add my own lubrication to my favorite Astroglide, it’s pretty slippery in there. This baby tends to turn and turn and turn and I spend a lot of time pulling it out to make sure it is heading in the right direction. For the longest time, I didn’t bother to add the batteries, thinking I didn’t need the vibrations in order to achieve ejaculation. And I was coming just fine…but alas, I wasn’t squirting.

I knew I was getting there, but a little more research was in order. After some internet searching, I learned that deep breathing combined with squeezing the PC muscles might just do the trick. And for good measure, I added the two AA batteries.

And guess what? A little knowledge goes a long way.

equals:

While the book is great for beginners, the Orchid G alone earns a solid

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Product Specifications:

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot:

• Binding Style: Paperback
• Type: Sex Info/How-To
• Number of Pages: 160
• Copyright: 2007

The Orchid G:

• Size: 8″ (outer curve) x 1-3/8″ (widest point)
• Material: Plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Two AA

While Babeland does not pay me for my honest opinions, I do get to keep everything I review.

I have come to think of Lelo as the Cadillac of the sex toy market. Their products are always nested in gorgeous silken baggies, beautifully packaged in sleek black boxes that just beg you to leave them lying around looking luxurious. They are also expensive. The first Lelo toy that I was ever offered for review was the Elise. Having no prior experience with Lelo toys, I was bowled over when I went to look up her price tag—nearly $160! Sadly, she often sits, neglected, in my over-large toy box because I keep forgetting to charge her.

The Ella, on the other hand, needs no charging. In fact, she needs no batteries whatsoever! This is another first for me. I mean, a non-vibrating dildo that doesn’t come strapped to a lover! As we all know, I’ve been trying for nearly a year to achieve the elusive female ejaculation through masturbation, so every time I see a new g-spot toy up for grabs, I’m grabbin’ at it! The Ella arrived on my doorstep from Babeland, all gussied up and feeling full of promise. I figured I had probably found the one toy that could get that squirt on, right? Ummm…not so much. Sigh…

Yeah, here’s the thing…well, just read the sign for yourself. When I hit that sweet spot, I get really, really wet. Not squirting wet (another long, heavy sigh) but seriously slick just the same. Because of the way the Lelo Ella is shaped, her handle gets moist and often turns in the wrong direction while I’m in the midst of my “happy time.” So, I have to stop, pull it out, check the direction she’s pointing, and start over again. Really? I wish there were some sort of thumb grip or ridge to orient me…even a loud alarm that sounds whenever she veers off course.

All of that said, I’ve used her a few times on my own and once, very happily, with DPR coaching me through on the phone from 900 miles away. Trust me, when she works, she works…the oddly shaped head fits perfectly against my g-spot and trust me, I come! I have full-body vaginal orgasms that can make the earth quake…just haven’t let loose the mother lode yet.

I’m working on it…but Ella, I’m sad to say, isn’t up for the job. If you happen to be super-sensitive or have an easy time ejaculating, then she may well be for you. Oh, by the way, pair the Ella with the Onyé Fleur (you know, that bitch that gave me such a hard time with her batteries but has now become my total go-to larger bullet vibe for intense clitoral orgasms?) and you WILL have an amazing time.

Now, for your viewing pleasure…THIS is what I’m after. My idol: the oh-so-talented Cytherea. Enjoy!

I’m giving the Lelo Ella from Babeland a pretty decent Oooh! If she can make me do what you just watched? I’m upgrading this baby fast!

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Product Specifications:

• Size: 7″ x 1-1/2″ at widest point
• Material: Silicon

*Please note, I do not get paid to provide my honest opinions of  Babeland’s products, but I do get to keep everything I review.

I get a text at 11:35 a.m.: “horny. coming home for lunch. you know what to do.” accompanied by one of those lascivious little smileys with a hanging tongue and bulging eyes.

I have 25 minutes to prepare. I am still in my pajamas. A really quick shower and super fast clean-up shave is in immediate order. Emerging, steaming, I wrap a short black satin robe around me and head for the bedroom. Not usually the one to handle his selection of cocks, he prefers it heated and with only 20 minutes there won’t be time for him to do it himself. I decide to go for the gold and grab the really big guy. He’s all girth at 2 1/2″ wide, about 6″ in length not counting the sizable balls. I run back to the bathroom and submerge him in scalding water. My only task left is to pull the weight bench over to the door of my office and position it underneath the chin-up bar. The black velcro straps are already secured to the bar so with 5 minutes to spare, I just breathe, wait, and try to keep my wandering hands away from my own wetness, the anticipation building me to a near-frenzy even before he gets home.

His footsteps on the stairs and his grin as he sees me sitting there, facing the front door. “Get ready,” he growls. I hear him in the bathroom, his belt buckle clanking as his pants hit the floor, the snaps and clicks of the leather strap as he adjusts. I open my robe and lie back on the bench, shivering a little from both the cold and the excitement.

He is standing at the foot of the weight bench. “Slide down,” he orders. I comply. He grabs my right ankle and lifts my leg skyward, fastening my ankle tightly to the velcro strap attached to the chin-up bar. With a glint in his eye, he repeats the process with my left leg. My ass is hanging off the edge of the weight bench and, tilted at an angle due to the difference in height from the floors on either side of the door, I am at the perfect height for him. I reach behind my head and grab the sides of the bench. There isn’t much time. There will be no (and no need for) foreplay.

He grabs the bottle of lube that I had set on the floor. My stomach flip-flops with total arousal as I watch him pour the clear liquid into his hand and wrap his hand around his cock, sliding it up and down, over the head and back down the shaft. Ah, if we had all day, I would be satisfied just to watch him jerk off. But we don’t and he knows it. He is ready. I am ready. He slips that giant so easily into my pussy. I am already achingly wet. My breath catches in the back of my throat. The sense of being completely filled up is delicious. My legs quiver in their bonds. Our bodies never touch. Just his cock sliding in and out of my cunt in an increasingly frenzied rhythm. I raise my head to watch him moving in and out of me. His head is bent to the same. Both of us increasingly out of breath, sweat glistening our bodies, watching the cock. the pussy.

He knows the angle is perfect. He knows the size is just right. He knows that if he hits that certain sweet spot inside me exactly what will happen. And it does. My breathing becomes faster, shallower. My eyes close involuntarily. I am nothing but that one swollen place inside my vagina. That one rough patch behind my pubic bone that is being pounded relentlessly. My legs buck and strain against the straps—my feet climbing up the wall and raising my hips ever higher. And then it comes. Clear, hot liquid, shooting, gushing, soaking his shorts and the floor. He pushes again. I can’t hold back. I have no control. I continue to squirt that precious elixir into the air, into the void. I begin to beg him to stop but I know that he knows I don’t mean it. Eventually, though, we both know it has to stop. We have to stop.

As he withdraws, I whimper slightly from the empty place he has left behind. I know he didn’t get off this time. Not enough time. I know I owe him. He carefully releases one leg and then the other. Gently setting them down and lifting me back onto the weight bench where I lie, helpless, legless. I am utterly satiated but hate to hear the sounds of his hurried cleaning up, dressing, the clink of his belt buckle as he puts himself back together.

He leans over and kisses me. “Maybe we can skip the gym today, ” he says as he starts out the door, “looks like we may be able to get in another workout right here.”

Well, it seems there is no end to the number of bloggers’ anniversaries these days. In honor of her own, our dear Sweltering Celt has assigned us this week’s theme of Contest.

I am tormented. He insists on bringing me to the absolute brink and then pulling me back from the abyss of ecstasy. Oh, the sweet frustration as he buries his face in my cunt. Hungry. Greedy. Expertly covering every possible inch of my bare pussy with his tongue until I am left utterly wanting of release.

Finally, gratefully, he reaches inside me with two, three fingers. Curling them upward, he knows exactly where that spot is that immediately brings forth a stream of unbearable satisfaction. The mattress, the floor, his arm up to the elbow, are soaked and dripping. He doesn’t stop. He won’t stop. This orgasm never lasts just seconds—it seems to stretch for an eternity as he pushes me over and over again until I, bucking and arching, writhing and dizzy from breathlessness, beg him to stop. I am soon laughing with something close to hysteria. My entire body trembling beyond my control.

He smiles and stands up. I cannot move. Immobile. Entirely spent. Just stick a fork in me, I’m done. He looks down on me with a sly grin on his handsome face. “Huh,” he says, “just wait until she gets back. You are going to be having the best sex of your life as we try to outdo each other.” Just wait, I think, just wait.

The kid’s asleep…the lights turned out…the covers pulled back. Our bare skin melds together as though we were carved out of the same earthen clay destined to be one body. Your kisses are featherlight then fierce. Our passion burns through those kisses. Your mouth on my neck. That spot between my neck and shoulder blade that drives me insane with wanting.

Your hands wander the soft expanses of my body. My hands linger on your strong arms and I want to lose myself in them forever. I run my fingers through your hair and listen to your soft moans.

Your kisses travel downward and you envelope my hard nipples in your warm, waiting lips. Your tongue traces quick paths, soft bites, nibbles. Then you suck them hard into your mouth and elicit my gasps as the passion I feel for you hits my very soul like a lightning bolt.

Your ecstasy is my ecstasy. Your passion my passion. You worship at the altar of my cunt. Spreading me wide and licking, sucking, kissing, lapping, eating me until my body bucks and quivers with the wave upon wave of contractions deep within me. My pussy loves you. You tell me of my taste, my smell, the touch, the wet, and your words drive me wild. I want to answer back but all I can manage is gutteral moans and heavy sighs of absolute fulfillment. When your tongue hits my tight little hole I see stars. Having you make love to that absolute sacred place is pure heaven. I want to be totally open to you and I want to be everything you’ve ever wanted in a lover.

I take no greater pleasure than knowing you could cum instantaneously just watching your cock slide into my ass. Slick with lube, I lower myself upon the largest part of the head and as I exhale it slips inside and I am full of your big, beautiful cock. For the first time in my life, I KNOW that I am sexy when you tell me so. I know that you get unbearably hot watching yourself slide in and out of me as I ride you. Grind my hips into you. Rock back and forth. Ever the exhibitionist – I want you to watch me and I know I have the power to make you shudder with mind-blowing orgasms with barely a touch of your balls against your clit.

My goal lies in my fist. Slipping into your oh-so-soaked pussy so very easily. My hand curls into itself and you cradle me inside you as though you could give birth to me. Gave birth to my passion. Brought me into my own as no one ever has. Let me lose any inhibitions I had ever retained and I revel in the relentless driving of my fist in your cunt. My perfect butch boi. You take it all and when you can’t take it anymore you reward me with the force of your cum squirting and gushing all over my tits…filling my pussy with your white hot liquid. And when you lick your juce off my body I am in awe of your absolute sexual prowess.

You make me want to do things I’ve yet to think of. I want to be laid over your lap and feel the sting of your palm between the caress of my cheeks. The welts that rise between the soothing kisses. I want to be tied up and completely at your control. I want you to use my body as it was made for you.

Take me. Fuck me. Suck me. Lick me. Kiss me. Hold me. Spank me. Make me. Eat me. I am yours and everything I have is yours. Do with me what you will for I want to be everything to you. Fulfill all of your fantasies with me. I give up total control to you.