Step 1: Ooh and aah over the design and packaging of the Onyé Fleur vibrator sent by Babeland for review (notice the change in breathing as anticipation sets in).

Step 2: Voraciously rip open packaging to get at beautiful lilac bullet vibrator with its stunningly gorgeous textured grip. Yank three brand new AAA batteries out of drawer in kitchen while doing so.

Step 3: Locate directions and puzzle over them for approximately 20 minutes. Seriously.

Step 4: Try every possible combination of battery insertion. Open and close vibrator multiple times. Keep jamming finger in button at bottom hoping the damn thing turns on (note change in breathing is now in pure frustration).

Step 5: Throw batteries at the wall and throw Onyé Fleur into toybag and let it sit there for several days as punishment.

Step 6: Try again.

Step 7: Repeat Step 5.

Step 8: Contact Babeland. Receive additional instructions on inserting batteries.

Step 9: Try to locate the two orange dots to line up before closing vibrator. Decide there are a) no dots to be found, or b) I’m going blind.

Step 10: Repeat Step 5.

Step 11: Look up any and all reviews previously written for the Onyé Fleur. Have a jealous fit that all of THOSE women are enjoying multiple orgasms with their vibrators.

Step 12. Contact Babeland again and get information on returning the evidently defective merchandise.

Step 13. Pull Onyé Fleur out of toy bag to give it one last shot at battery insertion before returning the damn thing. Push top and bottom half together until they click audibly then turn slightly twice to the left and hit on button.

Step 14. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Step 15. Lay back and give this baby a new category of “Oh Fucking Finally!!!” while enjoying the hell out of the powerful little beauty.

Step 16. Use her often and well.

Step 17. Pray that her batteries last forever.

Product Description:

• Size: 4-1/2″ x 1-1/4”
• Material: Hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Three AA

I do not get paid by Babeland for my honest opinions, but I do get to keep all of the products I am sent for review.

DPR left for the long drive home around 3:30 Tuesday morning. I miss her as I have missed no other. Without her I feel the days stretching by, punctuated by our phone calls and emails, leading into lonely nights in my half-empty bed. I will see her in 15 days. Until then, she, like you…can see me here.

*CLICK*

Don’t forget to visit Osbasso for more HNT goodness!

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

I would say that, if I can maintain a single-minded focus and my mind doesn’t start wandering (read all about this HERE), then I probably come in about 15 minutes or so, maybe less. DPR and I had a discussion about this very topic the other night. Unlike her, I do fantasize. I don’t think about her specifically (sorry, babe), but have a number of tried and true, down and dirty scenes that have always done it for me (and no, I’m not going to share them with you). I will admit to this, when I do come, I tend to scream out her name really loudly. *grin*

2. Have you ever been “caught” masturbating?

Not that I know of. I did spend a lot of time during my teen years in the bathroom (my parents actually thought I took 45-minute showers when I was just using the sound of the water to cover up my heavy breathing as I lay on the floor). I also masturbated at night in college when I thought (hoped) my roommate was asleep. I’m not very good at keeping quiet though so perhaps they were just being respectful…or didn’t know how to tell me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep already.

3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If ‘yes’ was it for your own purposes or for someone’s viewing pleasure?

I have. Both for my own purpose (http://www.pornhub.com and http://www.sextube.com are great free sites when you need visual stimulation quickly) and on webcam (but not for the general public). Now that my computer sits in front of an almost floor-to-ceiling window, I tend to keep my business out of sight of the neighbors.

4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?

No. It’s a tad too “Betty Dodson” for me.

5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?

Huh. I never really analyzed it. I guess I keep going until I’m totally done. I did notice (while “helping out”) the other night, that when I did get there I really slowed down and just let this unbelievable orgasm take over completely. Of course, I was just helping…DPR was doing most of the work there. *sigh*

6. Have you ever video’ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?

Yes. They reside on my computer and I imagine the person I sent them to still has them somewhere as well. I was asked not to give them to anyone else out of respect for the time and context in which they were made. I will honor that. Not to say I won’t make new ones, should a certain someone want them. *wink*

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word “fuck” (or its derivatives) in casual conversation – frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

Oh, fuck, seriously? If you know me personally, you know that this particular word is sprinkled liberally throughout my general conversation. I can, however, maintain a clean conversation when need be.

DPR and I had not been apart for even two full weeks when she tossed her bags in the truck and drove 15 hours through the night to come spend a few days with me. As luck would have it, the New England weather decided to wrap its wintery arms around us and she has yet to head back home. Maybe this weekend…sigh. Until then, we are thoroughly enjoying our small slice of domesticated bliss and for once I am not having to fuss with self-timers and last-minute shoots. DPR is an amazing photographer and although we had no professional lighting or backdrops with us, the series (which you will see a lot of in the coming weeks) turned out pretty well, IMHO. The most amazing thing is seeing myself through her eyes…she makes me feel quite beautiful, indeed.

*CLICK*

This week we also participated in the OHNT for the very first time. See a little more of our New Year’s Eve celebration here, and don’t forget to stop by and see Os for more HNT goodness!

Pleasurists #61

January 18th, 2010

by Gene MagicPleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #60? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #62? Use our submission form and submit it before Sunday January 24th at 11:59pm PST. Be sure to read our submission guidelines.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Giftcard Giveaway! Deadline: January 22nd.
• A Tickler of Your Choice! Deadline: January 24th @ 10pm Pacific.
• Mona? Mona! Deadline: January 25th @ 11:59 Eastern.
• EZ Bend Vibrator Giveaway Deadline: January 31st @ 6pm Central.
• Evolved Vibrator Giveaway! Deadline: February 1st.
• Cupid’s Fun Factory Contest Deadline: February 10th @ 11:59pm.

Looking for something other than reviews?
e[lust] #5

Editor’s Pick

• Basic Essentials Softee by Undressed Reviews

• Marketing Guy 1:
  What do chicks love?

  Marketing Guy 2:
  My Dick!

  MG 1 & 2:
  WOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!

  MG 1:
  No seriously, though…they love pink…and….and….

  MG 2:
  My Dick!.

  Note: Seriously hilarious. If you like your reviews with a side of comedy and snark like I do this one is fantastic and may occasionally have you wondering wtf.

Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• LELO Ina by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• Thrusting Jack Rabbit by True Pleasures
• Chester Cheeky by Ginger Leigh
• Impulse 5 Hypersonic Wand by Joan Price
• Tongue Joy Turbo Pack by Red
• Power Breeze Bullet by Joan Price
• Wahl by Epiphora
• Sweet Stimulator by Mistress Kay
• LELO Gigi by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• MyPleasure Cosmetic Kit by Mistress Kay
• Lovemoiselle Cecile by Wilhelmina Wang
• Tantus Delta by namelesschaos
• JeJoue Gi-ki by Saraid
• She Devil by Sundae
• The Cone by Kristy

Dildos

• Fun Factory Wave by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Anal Toys

• Pop Plug Large by Darling Dove
• Crystal Chic Wand by Dr. Ruthie

Toys for Cocks

• Support Plus Extended Ring Head Exciter by Alley

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Pink water by Sarahbear
• AfterGlow Wipes by Scintillectual
• Afterglow Wipes by Cinnamon
• Body Essentials Kit by Beautiful Dreamer
• Pjur Med Clean Spray by Sexorcism

BDSM/Fetish

• Behind the Back Restraints by Cinnamon
• Hog Tie Set by Sammi
• Doc Johnson Bondage Rope by Mistress Kay
• Leather Paddle with Fleece by Mistress Kay
• Teddy Bear Spank-Her by Mistress Kay
• Adjustable Spreader Bar by J’s Alley

Adult Books

• Moregasm by Undressed Reviews
• Carrie’s Story by Mistress Kay

Adult Movies/Porn

• Girls Make Love by Garnet Joyce
• Women Seeking Women: Volume 50 by Thursday’s Child
• Roulette Dirty South by J.D. Bauchery
• Sun Valley Bareback by FrzKey
• Collin O’Neal’s World Of Men – Colombia by The Porn Librarian
• Hustlers Untrue Hollywood Stories Lindsay Lohan by J.D. Bauchery
• Foxy Nudes by FrzKey

Sex Furniture

• Fetish Fantasy Mini Position Master by True Pleasures

Storage

• For Your Nymphomation Adult Toybox by Kaijah

This, my friends, is a humpback whale:

and this…is the Fun Factory Galan Vibrator sent to me by my good friends at TabuToys! See the similarities? The design immediately called to mind the beautiful humpback.  They are both sleek, streamlined, have a wonderful weight, incredibly similar texture, and they both love to dive into wetness! This gorgeous vibrator has such an earthy, organic quality about it. I should have written this weeks ago—the truth is, as much as I adore my Lelo Elise—the Galan has become my go-to vibrator for penetration during masturbation. (I have yet to try it out with DPR but if they could market her fingers, I’d do a review of those, too!)

The Galan vibrator is shaped perfectly, just the right amount of curve at the tip. At 8″ by 1 1/2″ with 6.5″ of insertable shaft, it is a perfect size (in my humble opinion, of course…but I am a bit of a size queen without asking for something the length and width of someone’s forearm). The quiet vibration is seamlessly adjusted with one finger at the base and is powerful enough for, well, someone like me. As my regular readers know by now, I desire serious power in my toys!

I have yet to find anything wrong with this vibrator. The size and shape is perfect, it doesn’t need to sit on a charger to be ready to go, is extremely easy to clean, and I get off quickly and intensely. Also, at less than half the cost of the Lelo Elise (although, I will say the Lelo is worth every penny), the Fun Factory Galan Vibrator is an economical alternative.

I have a feeling that I will be a Galan Rider for a good, long time.

Product Specifications:

•  100% silicone

•  2 AA batteries required (not included)

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

This product was sent to me by TabuToys for my honest opinion. I do not get paid to review their products, but I do get to keep everything I review.

I’m feeling a tad under the weather today, so my planned shoot for this week’s HNT will have to wait until this weekend when I have more time and am feeling somewhat presentable. I’m thinking of tea with milk and sugar, a good book, and a box of kleenex. In the meantime, here is one I plucked from my diminished stash of “never before seen” photos. Enjoy and don’t forget to stop by Osbasso’s site for more HNT goodness!

It will forever remain a mystery why we decided to ascend the mountain to your dad’s cabin immediately upon my arrival at the airport. After 5 weeks apart, both of us were twitchy and childish in the back seat, your brother shooting us impish looks in the rearview mirror as I repeatedly removed your hand from my upper thigh in order to concentrate (somewhat) on his girlfriend’s attempt at small talk. I was enduring a heady mix of ebullience at being together again and a sense of physical desire so deep I hurt. I stared out the window and allowed your hand in mine, our fingers entwined, that one point of contact between us electric.

A general melée ensued as we parked the car and all clambered out to retrieve various bags, a crust of new fallen snow breaking like glass beneath our boots, covering our jeans with fine, white powder; the suggestion of late night sledding bandied about. We were directed to the larger of the two guest rooms. Unusual for you, as you normally left the room with the attached bath to your brother. I entered the bedroom in wonder—the clear winter sunlight bouncing off the crystalline whiteness outside filled the room with light. It would hardly have been appropriate to shut the door for some long awaited private time, but both of us were aching to get at each other and we came crashing into a corner together, our lips locked in hunger, as your dad appeared in the doorway.

We waved off his embarrassed apologies and smirked at each other as we followed him into the living room. The next several hours became an excruciating exercise in self-control. Lively family conversation was followed by hearty bowls of stew and crusty French bread; the mountain air always heightened my senses and everything seemed to smell better, taste better. The clock on the mantel ticked away so slowly, I wondered when it would ever be appropriate to excuse ourselves…and all the while your hand held fast to mine, your calloused fingers toying with the tips of my very soft ones. That single point of electricity building to a fevered pitch.

Finally, gratefully, yawns were acknowledged and everyone started to move on to their rooms. We said our goodnights and blessedly closed our door behind us. You pulled me into you immediately. Our hands everywhere, our fervent kisses covered each other’s lips, faces, necks. I stopped short as I heard conversation from the next room. You mumbled something about paper thin walls into my shoulder blade as your hands reached under my sweater. Paper thin? I felt as though we were sharing a room with your brother and his girlfriend! Distractedly, I wondered if they’d been constructed with spit and toilet paper.

My musings were short-lived as we reached the bed, still joined to each other, and I sat down hard on it. The bedsprings immediately sounded their alarm and I groaned inwardly. I stood back up as we started to pull each other’s clothes off. The room was slightly chilly, moonlight spilling in from the surrounding windows. We were frantic to be as close as we could possibly be. The air itself filled with our sexual/emotional/spiritual connection. We whispered and giggled at our predicament. Clearly the bed was off limits, at least for some serious fucking, and now our heads whipped around the room looking for a place to satiate our overwhelming urges.

I had your face in my hands and fell against the wall with an audible thud. Your brother called in from the next room asking if everything was all right. We stifled our laughter as you reassured him that we were fine, making up some story about tripping over the woven cotton throw rug. Our frustration was becoming palpable.

Now you began to express your keen desire to fuck me. Your wanting so powerful that your cock, still restrained in your duffle bag on the floor, fairly stood at attention all on its own. You hastily gathered your things and ducked into the bathroom as I whispered hurry, hurry. I shed the last of my clothes and stood there, my arms folded about myself, the former heat of the excessive wetness between my legs growing colder in the night air. I grabbed for your cock the second you re-entered the room. That hurt, that ache, was stronger than any I could have imagined. You grabbed the thick quilt from the bed and threw it upon the floor, both of us sinking into it. I ran my hands the length of your taut body, sighing with the exquisite reunion of my nails to your flesh. You groaned as you watched me move down your torso, my eyes upon you, my tongue darting out to wet my lips just before I drew your cock into my mouth—instantly swallowing you down the back of my throat before pulling back up again. Hungry. I was so hungry.

I shushed you as you begged to fuck me. As much as you loved to watch your cock in my mouth, the wanting to be inside me was all-encompassing. I acquiesced. Pleading wasn’t necessary. I was waiting, wanting, ready. I pulled a few pillows off the bed and you understood that the only way we could conceivably pull this off was to cushion yourself on the floor while I lowered myself down upon you. You sighed and I gasped. I threw my head back and tried so hard to stifle my normally exuberant moans as I rode you hard, your hips bucking underneath me, both of us trying desperately to become a single entity. I rocked my pelvis back against you, forcing your balls into your clit (so hard, so hard) and you bit back the noises rising from deep within you. I supported my weight in your hands, clenched tightly in mine. That force of pressure between us heightened everything erotic. My sole focus became my cunt, filled with your cock, and as you fingered my clit to orgasm, I wept with the joy of release, of all those weeks of barely satisfactory phone sex, of being one with you again.

In that release, I forgot for just one second where we were and began a keening moan of ecstasy that was preempted by your hand upon my mouth. My eyes flew open in horror as I registered our surroundings. We both became lost in paroxysms of laughter muffled into the pillows beneath us.

For hours we stayed there, upon that gleaming wood floor, the moonlight striking the sharp angles of your body, the soft curves of mine. We navigated the waters of knowing each other again until we finally hit the wall of no more. As we climbed, exhausted, into the soft expanse of the ample bed, you make a move to unclasp your harness. I reached out and stayed your hand. You understood and climbed into bed behind me. I tucked my ass into the hollow of your groin and your cock slipped easily into me as your right hand reached around and cradled my left breast. Our breathing slowed, deepened, and we sighed our unending love for each other into that still night.

e[Lust] #5

HNT Courtesy of Sexy Sadie

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #6? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter - I saw a possible haven ahead: a pilot disappearing into the pilots’ lounge. I could think of nowhere else that would offer us even a modicum of privacy. Time to brazen it out. With her still walking obediently alongside, I pushed my way into the lounge.

The Condom Question. Confession #397 – Luckily, this time I had my wits about me enough to reply with a categorical, Yes a condom is absolutely necessary, darlin, but history has proven that, while I’m naked and horny, I can offer no more justification as to why such protection is paramount.

No more… - “I’m so sorry, I can’t…”. Words, words, so many words… reasons and reasoning and things and stuff and none of it made sense, and through all of it, disbelief, dread, a sickness of heart… I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing.

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

Sex as a Panacea - As I begged “faster” “harder” “more!” I felt my orgasm come on, a mere minute or two after we began with this combination. A thunderous orgasm overtook me as he kept up with the dildo and I with the Climax for the first big wave.

♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦

Bad Girl – I take off my coat and stand proudly before her in my black lace corset, suspenders, stockings and heels. She looks me up and down and smiles at me when she catches my stare. Desire is already zinging through my body.

See also: Pleasurists #59 and #60 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Blowjob Tips!

Companioning

Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’

From Helper To Survivor

Good girl, bad girl…

Girlie Toys

If the Peg Fits

Illicit Encounters

Insecurity, You can Kiss My Ass

Nothing is perfect, which is why there is communication

Regaining my Femme

Studying

The Condom Question. Confession #397

Erotic Writing

All Rise For the Queen

Centre of Attention

Crying Uncle

Ending The Decade With Wes

Invading The Boy’s Club – #4

Last Night

Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter

Lorraine’s Coming Out

My reputation precedes me

Party Doll

The Beginning

The Erotic Touch of a Stranger

Kink & Fetish

1st night out as sub

Being my Master’s Shoe Slut

Bondage and Being Ignored

Caning in the snow at New Year

Mind Games and Number Games

Much Ado About Punching

No more…

September 2010: A Slave’s Initiation

The Intimacy of Being Taken

Thievery

The workhouse maid, punished

The Porn Reports, Part 1

Violence and BDSM

Yes, No, and Consent

“You’re a good little fuck toy”

News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Delegating Gaga

I Hope He Does “Animal” Next

Sometimes I’m Not So Sexy…