It’s the perfect cock

I’m not kidding. DPR and I have been on the lookout for a replacement for the Cybercock we bought during her second trip here and my dear friend, John, at Pervalicious.com volunteered to send me the Vixskin Bandit to try out. I’ll just tell you this right now. There is no need to try any other realistic dildo and with a lifetime warranty, I hope I never have to!

If you have never had any experience with Vixskin products (from Vixen Creations), let me extol the many virtues. It feels much like the real thing (and yeah, you’re gonna say “you’re a dyke, how would you know?” Trust me, sweetheart, been there, done that, have many nasty stains on many a t-shirt.); it is much firmer than cyberskin (which, incidentally, tends to tear at the base if you suck too hard or have overactive PC muscles) but has a wonderful soft, flexible outer “skin.”

Okay, I’m a bit of a size queen so I tend to go for larger rather than smaller, but no so large that I end up puncturing a lung every time we have sex. The Bandit is perfect for me at 7 1/2″ x 1 5/8″. Pervalicious.com does carry a wide variety of lengths and widths, both with and without balls—all of which are perfect for harnesses with O-rings. I will say that the Bandit, while much easier to control during intercourse (both vaginally and anally), has some drawbacks when it comes to oral sex. The Cybercock is extremely flexible and just begs to be taken into your mouth. You really need some control over your gag reflex if you are going to deep-throat the Bandit. Also, because it is made of silicone, it tends to squeak a bit against the teeth and if you are easily distracted (as I am) you might need to work a bit harder to avoid the teeth-against-the-head action.

If you are looking for a truly perfect, realistic dildo, look no further. The Vixskin line (and the Bandit, in particular) is the perfect cock. It is boilable, wearable, controllable, and comfortable. At around $100 each (depending on size), it may seem a little pricey. Trust me, worth every penny and then some. Unless you throw this baby under a bus or hand it to your Rottweiller as a chew toy, you will never need to buy another. So…what are you waiting for?

The Bandit? He gets a very enthusiastic YES! YES! YES!

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Pervalicious.com does not pay me for my honest opinions but I do get to keep the products I am sent for review.

This, my friends, is a humpback whale:

and this…is the Fun Factory Galan Vibrator sent to me by my good friends at TabuToys! See the similarities? The design immediately called to mind the beautiful humpback.  They are both sleek, streamlined, have a wonderful weight, incredibly similar texture, and they both love to dive into wetness! This gorgeous vibrator has such an earthy, organic quality about it. I should have written this weeks ago—the truth is, as much as I adore my Lelo Elise—the Galan has become my go-to vibrator for penetration during masturbation. (I have yet to try it out with DPR but if they could market her fingers, I’d do a review of those, too!)

The Galan vibrator is shaped perfectly, just the right amount of curve at the tip. At 8″ by 1 1/2″ with 6.5″ of insertable shaft, it is a perfect size (in my humble opinion, of course…but I am a bit of a size queen without asking for something the length and width of someone’s forearm). The quiet vibration is seamlessly adjusted with one finger at the base and is powerful enough for, well, someone like me. As my regular readers know by now, I desire serious power in my toys!

I have yet to find anything wrong with this vibrator. The size and shape is perfect, it doesn’t need to sit on a charger to be ready to go, is extremely easy to clean, and I get off quickly and intensely. Also, at less than half the cost of the Lelo Elise (although, I will say the Lelo is worth every penny), the Fun Factory Galan Vibrator is an economical alternative.

I have a feeling that I will be a Galan Rider for a good, long time.

Product Specifications:

•  100% silicone

•  2 AA batteries required (not included)

Oh.  Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

This product was sent to me by TabuToys for my honest opinion. I do not get paid to review their products, but I do get to keep everything I review.

Sounds exciting, right? Yeah…that’s about the level of enthusiasm I was feeling when I accidentally received these from Babeland for review in place of this year’s Best Lesbian Erotica. While marvelous Max assured me that all would be well and I would be getting the book to review, I was asked if I would mind going ahead and doing a review of the AfterGlow anti-bacterial cleansing wipes in the meantime. Oh please, I thought, how in the world does one review baby wipes?

Okay, folks, this may not be a lengthy review, but let me tell you how utterly wrong I was about these babies! We all have our issues regarding safe sex practices and keeping our toys sterilized, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera… However, I’m going to let you in on a not-so-little secret. I nap in the afternoons. Almost every afternoon. I get up at the asscrack of dawn because I am a morning person by nature but around 1:30-ish I’m too pooped to party. Before said nap, I like to have a mind-splintering orgasm. I stop thinking about work and it puts me right to sleep. Unfortunately, because I like two (count them, two) toys at once (you know, an innie and an outie), I wake up to rather a mess. Let’s not even ruminate on the state of my panties afterward! All of that said (TMI, anyone?) I decided to haul out the package of 20 wipes that winged their way across the country to me by mistake and yowza! My toys cleaned up nice! I felt safe to put them back in the bag that goes under my bed without having to scald them in hot water and as for personal hygiene? I don’t have to go through two sets of undies a day anymore!

These handy-dandy little cleansing cloths are not only anti-bacterial, but they are aloe-infused as well. Very soft on my very soft parts. More than likely very soft on very hard parts as well. I now use them as a regular part of my afternoon delight and am thinking of ordering several sets and swiping an old Cottonelle wipes box so that they can sit on my nightstand. It’s kind of a pain to hang half off my bed and rummage around looking for them.

Although some thoughtful guy declared them great for wiping up between anal and vaginal intercourse (gee, at least he did that much), Babeland and I agree that condoms should be used on both flesh penises and silicone/vixskin/cyberskin/what-have-you-skin due to the bacteria that can be transferred in the process. Let’s also clarify that these are not to take place of some serious heavy-duty cleaning of one’s array of dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and the like, but if you are thorough—they are wonderful for a one- or two-off cleaning when you are in a bit of a hurry.

Oh, did I mention that DPR raved about them as well while she was here? Really nice for cleaning up after a quickie. Not to mention a little extra hygiene before a trip down south, dont’cha know? So seriously? While I scoffed, poo-pooed, and generally guffawed at the thought of reviewing what I thought was tantamount to a small package of damp Kleenex, I am sold on adding at least one set of these to every order I place with Babeland.

So, hey Max! Thanks, buddy, I appreciate the mix-up. My little clean poonani and her toys are happier than ever! I’m giving the AfterGlow anti-bacterial wipes a good old fashioned “Ohhhh!”

Product details:

• Size: Single or 20-pack
• Ingredients: Water, Propylene Glycol, Aloe Barbadnesis Leaf Juice

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

This item was provided for my review by Babeland. I am not paid to review their products, but I do get to keep whatever they send me.