Scintillectually Yours

Step 1: Ooh and aah over the design and packaging of the Onyé Fleur vibrator sent by Babeland for review (notice the change in breathing as anticipation sets in).

Step 2: Voraciously rip open packaging to get at beautiful lilac bullet vibrator with its stunningly gorgeous textured grip. Yank three brand new AAA batteries out of drawer in kitchen while doing so.

Step 3: Locate directions and puzzle over them for approximately 20 minutes. Seriously.

Step 4: Try every possible combination of battery insertion. Open and close vibrator multiple times. Keep jamming finger in button at bottom hoping the damn thing turns on (note change in breathing is now in pure frustration).

Step 5: Throw batteries at the wall and throw Onyé Fleur into toybag and let it sit there for several days as punishment.

Step 6: Try again.

Step 7: Repeat Step 5.

Step 8: Contact Babeland. Receive additional instructions on inserting batteries.

Step 9: Try to locate the two orange dots to line up before closing vibrator. Decide there are a) no dots to be found, or b) I’m going blind.

Step 10: Repeat Step 5.

Step 11: Look up any and all reviews previously written for the Onyé Fleur. Have a jealous fit that all of THOSE women are enjoying multiple orgasms with their vibrators.

Step 12. Contact Babeland again and get information on returning the evidently defective merchandise.

Step 13. Pull Onyé Fleur out of toy bag to give it one last shot at battery insertion before returning the damn thing. Push top and bottom half together until they click audibly then turn slightly twice to the left and hit on button.

Step 14. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Step 15. Lay back and give this baby a new category of “Oh Fucking Finally!!!” while enjoying the hell out of the powerful little beauty.

Step 16. Use her often and well.

Step 17. Pray that her batteries last forever.

Product Description:

• Size: 4-1/2″ x 1-1/4”
• Material: Hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Three AA

I do not get paid by Babeland for my honest opinions, but I do get to keep all of the products I am sent for review.