TMI Tuesday: “I did NOT have sex with that woman.”
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
It’s Tuesday and you know what that means: too much fucking information! Or…too fucking much information. Whatever. Anyhoo…the original version of this week’s meme can be found (along with the video answers by Dan Savage) at Professor Fate’s TMI Tuesday blog. Evidently, material is running low, so if you have any questions of your own you’d like answered, please e-mail them to prince[dot]hapnik[at]gmail[dot]com.
1. What are your thoughts on Polyamorous Relationships?
They are unbelievably fucking difficult (fucking seems to be the optimal word of the day, just go with it). Until I met HTB (who is no longer HTB but I can’t decide what to call him now. I’m sure I have some friends who would have some suggestions but since I happen to love the guy, I’m not willing to dub him “asshole” nor have to use that word liberally in my blog. Where was I? Oh yeah…) I had NEVER been in a monogamous relationship. Even in college I was sharing a bed with my then boyfriend and whichever girlfriend I happened to have. I lived in a trilationship with two women for two years. THAT sucked. I mean, we had fun together. We all shared a king-sized bed, a house, pets…but trying to deal with jealousy, insecurity, being the odd woman out on those predetermined nights of one-on-one time? Trying to get it up for one-on-one time since it WAS predetermined? Yeah, sucked. Hats off to anyone who can do it. Maybe NOT living together is the answer. I don’t know. What I do know (and this has been a serious tangential rambling) is that I doubt I will ever be poly again. Date more than one person? Maybe. Even that is stressful at my age (45, not 95, but that suddenly sounded as though I have one foot in the grave already). Hell, I just “want somebody to love, I…want somebody to love, I…” So sayeth Freddie Mercury.
2. What is on your list of relationship “deal breakers”?
I think we did this one a couple of weeks ago. Or, wait, that was the list of deal breakers that won’t get you a second date (and I’ve learned that I have many new deal breakers there but that’s not the question, is it?). Relationships…used to be that I really could tolerate a lot, probably because I got whatever I wanted so I made certain concessions where my partner(s) was concerned. I found a big one when I discovered a woman I let move in with me and take care of my kid while I was at work was an active junkie (heroin? Oxycontin?). For four months I never understood why she blacked out all the time but didn’t drink (see, I was only used to living with alcoholics). I threw her AND her kid (who came to live with us after Junkie got fired for sleeping on the job, go figure) out on Christmas day when I finally got clued in and fed up. Also…separate relationship…when the police get called in at 3 a.m. because they got a drunken call that I might be an axe murderer who has stuffed my fiance in the freezer? Definite deal breaker. Joke or no joke. Next.
3. How long did it take you you to find the type “you are into” and/or accept it?
As you can see from Question #2, I definitely have a “type.” And it isn’t necessarily that healthy. I am heavily attracted to seriously butch bois (or…well…FTMs now, but I didn’t know that when we met) with seriously cocky attitudes. Usually this goes hand-in-hand with some kind of addiction. Hence, the fact that my life is NEVER without its fair share of drama. I love passion, intensity, tattoos, biceps, a really good fuck, and…oh wait, I’m getting off-topic here. I’ve just recently come to accept it. I tried the *nice* route. The type of person who I *thought* should be my partner. Turns out…not so much. I still love my bad boy. Only, he’s kind of cleaned up his act…and that’s okay…he’s still a really good fuck.
4. What is your view on full disclosure about past relationships? (Lies of omission not lies of commission)
I don’t necessarily want to hear about your past relationships. For some reason, it’s begun to sound like bragging rights or I feel as though I’m being compared to women past. I say I’m not a jealous human being, but truth is? I am. I think I am the be-all and end-all as the woman you’d want in your life. Yes, I have that cocky streak, too. So why the fuck should you even remember your past relationships now that you’ve got me? Bwahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! Okay, really, they are over, done with, shut the fuck up about it and move on already.
5. Have you ever been in a situation where you were not comfortable complying with the adventurous request of a lover?
Once. If you dig into my past MFMs you’ll find one about fear. Here’s some TMI for you: I have been raped more than once. And when it happens as an adult, in a relationship, and you think you fucking know better? Not so great. And all because I couldn’t bring myself to slap her in the face. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a baseball bat and a few minutes alone with that cunt now.
Category TMI Tuesday / Tags: Tags: meme, polyamory, relationships, TMI Tuesday, /
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