Scintillectually Yours

Okay folks, I am WAY behind on my reviews. I’ve got toys, books, and videos piled up and just waiting for me to get on the stick and write them all up. Sadly, I’m also behind on my deadlines for my *REAL* job, as well, but I’ll do my best to get these babies cranked out.

Speaking of behind (ahem), who doesn’t already know that I just adore buttsecks? True, very true. I do have a slight passion for anal (caveat: DPR and I recently attempted this with her rather girthy cock, normally not an issue, but it seems I was recovering from the start of an anal fissure  just inside my rectum. I don’t recommend this as a way to avoid surgery, but let’s just say that a week later I still fear the toilet). Even so, I’ve never given my little pleasure hole the respect she deserves when masturbating; so when Christina at TabuToys offered me the Handmaiden Anal Dildo for solo review, I was a little bemused. But hey, being trysexual, I greedily accepted the challenge.

The toy itself is a treat to behold. It’s ergonomically designed for solo-friendly use. You hold the base in your hand and tuck your fingers into the handle to guide this baby in at just the right angle. (Note: make sure you have LOTS of lube on hand.) The material, platinum-cured silicone, feels fantastic. It’s made for power play so you can be as rough as you want and this sweet Handmaiden will play right along with you. At 5″ x 1.25″ she isn’t for beginners but, hey, it’s not the size of a forearm either!

I have to admit that I had a little trouble getting her in at first but then again, I’m working around that C-section/hysterectomy pouch (you know,, the one I plan to install a zipper in?). Sometimes I think they need to take us slightly more zaftig girls into consideration. Anyhoo, once in, I had a lovely time of it, with DPR on the phone with me the whole time (LOVE these long-distance sex sessions). I told her everything I was feeling and how I felt about it, right down to the fact that I, personally, am not that fond of the ridges in the tip. Others might really enjoy the extra sensation, but they began to annoy me. Maybe the lube was wearing thin. I wasn’t using my usual Astroglide… or would that be Ass-troglide in this case?

I’d really like to try some of the other Handmaiden toys. I understand they have a lovely G-spot stimulator that looks similar to the anal dildo. I don’t know how often I’ll be using this one on my own but next time DPR and I are together, I’ll have to remember to pull the Handmaiden out of her lovely silver satin pouch and put her to better use.

Because I needed a little extra (clitoral) stimulation to get to the center of the tootsie pop, I’m giving the Handmaiden Anal Dildo an enthusiastic Ohhhh! Bottoms’s up!

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

Product Specifications:

•  100% medical-grade, platinum-cured silicone

• 5” by 1.25” textured shaft

• Phthalate and latex-free

While TabuToys does not pay me for my honest opinions, I do get to keep everything I review.

AdultSexToys.com is having a thoroughly awesome contest to give away a $300 shopping spree. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a girl who can’t resist the urge to splurge! So…here’s my wish list and here’s hoping all my dreams come true (and judging by the way this year is starting out, I’ve got a pretty damn good chance!).

The Wedge Air Pillow. Okay, so I’ve always wanted a wedge but I don’t want to blow my whole wad on one of those $250 jobs. This provides a great alternative to be able to offer myself up entirely to my sweet hot DPR. Mmmmm…just the thought of what we could do with this thing is making me all tingly inside.

Price? $43.58

I need a new Under the Bed Restraint System. I had something similar and LOVED IT! But, alas, somewhere I lost one of the cuffs and, having no headboard, it isn’t always easy to keep my hands to myself when DPR wants them quite out of the way.

Price? $43.05

Can you believe that the girl who constantly craves MORE POWER doesn’t own a Hitachi Magic Wand? I NEED this! If I don’t win it, someone should take pity on me and send me one to review. Seriously. This is a MUST HAVE for my collection. I need a serious go-to clit vibe that doesn’t run out of juice halfway through my screaming orgasms.

Price? $47.50

Oh, the fun we could have with these! Can you imagine the Wicked Wednesday post based on a night out while I wear these Fetish Fantasy 10-function Remote Panties and DPR hangs onto the remote control? I want these. Nay, I NEED these!

price? 54.67

I’m all out of my Kama Sutra products. Every one of these is FABULOUS and might I add that the honey dust makes a terrific alternative to perfume. It also tastes great when a certain *someone* comes along and licks your neck while you sit at your computer working. Yes, this is essential.

Price? $59.20

I’ve always wanted to try out the Fun Factory Layaspot vibrator and it’s just the thing to put me over the top. Multifunctional AND unbelievably intense? That’s SO me!

Price? $57.53

So I’m just a few dollars over (which they said was okay) at $305.53. Now I have a wish list and *fingers crossed* a way to get it all. I’m like Veruca Salt that way. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled. *heh*

Stripes of Lust by Vanity Zero

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #71? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #73? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday April 11th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Fairies, Fairies and More, More, More Fairies! Deadline: April 11th @ Midnight.
• Win Your Very Own LELO Lily! Deadline: April 13th.
• Win Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio Deadline: April 15th @ Midnight Central.
• Contest! Deadline: April 24th @ 11:59pm.
• Ophoria April Sweepstakes Beyond 1 Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
• Lover’s Choice April Sweepstakes Horny Hot & Wild Dice Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #10

Editor’s Pick

• Jimmyjane Form 2 by Luvasaurus

• The Form 2 oscillating pattern blows my mind, completely out of my skull. Each ear has its own motor, the vibrations go from one ear to the other, stimulating my clit in a whole new way. “Sensation in Stereo” describes this toy perfectly. The dual motors stimulate my clit like it has never been stimulated before.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Vibrator Upgrade Kit by Joan Price
• Fukuoku 9000 by True Pleasures
• Fukuoku 9000 by Sammi
• Tango III by Luscious Lily
• Jimmyjane Form 2 by Luvasaurus
• Fun Factory Patchy Paul II by Carrie Ann
• Green Dolphin by Jons Babydoll
• The Fairy Wand by namelesschaos

Dildos

• Cherry Bomb Metallic G-Pop by Mistress Kay
• Vixen Creations Mistress by Kaijah
• Lovemoiselle Elodie by Lucy Lemons
• Tantus Curve by True Pleasures
• Vixen Creations VixSkin Bandit by Scintillectual
• Buster by Carrie Ann
• Happy Valley Realistic by Sex Lies and Prelaw

Anal Toys

• Touche Bona Dea Anal Beads by Sammi
• Nexus G-Rider by Cooper Beckett

Toys for Cocks

• Bad Dragon Anthro-Dragoness Masturbation Sleeve by True Pleasures
• Succu Dry by Beautiful Dreamer
• Agate Ring by Beautiful Dreamer
• 4US Vibrating Cock Ring by True Pleasures
• Tenga Egg (Spider) by namelesschaos
• Tenga Egg (Clicker) by namelesschaos

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Fleshlube Ice by The Great Masturbator
• K-Y Massage Sampler by Carrie Ann
• Maximus by Angel deSanguine

BDSM/Fetish

• Soft Bondage Kit by Mistress Kay
• Bound by Diamonds Wrist Cuffs by Luscious Lily
• Silicone Bit Gag by Mistress Kay
• Flower Crop by Mistress Kay
• Clover Clamps by Sexorcism
• Under the Bed Restraint System by Mistress Kay

Adult Books/Games

• Moregasm by Mistress Kay
• Sacred Kink: the eightfold paths of BDSM and beyond by Dr. Ruthie
• Best Fetish Erotica by Sammi

Adult Movies & Porn

• Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio by Garnet Joyce

Sex Furniture

• Liberator Wing by Syd Vicious

Miscellaneous

• StressNoMore Vaginal Barbell by Joanna Cake
• Pleasure Me Purse by Sexorcism
• Sex in the Shower Dual Shower Head by Mistress Kay
• Tools of the Trade by Sexorcism

In the Looking Glass by PerryGallagher

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #62? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #64? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then you can use our submission form and submit it before Sunday February 7th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Mia for You-a! Viva La Vulva! Deadline: February 6th.
• Jimmyjane for Her, LELO for Him Deadline: February 7th @ 11:59pm.
• Courtney Trouble Week! Deadline: Daily at midnight until February 8th.
• Sportsheets Interview Contest Deadline: February 9th.
• Cupid’s Fun Factory Contest Deadline: February 10th @ 11:59pm.
• Vagazzle Your VaJayJay! Deadline: February 13th.
• Now’s Your Chance for a Second Valentine’s Day! Deadline: February 15th @ 11:00 am CST.
• Porn & Fleshlights Deadline: On Saturday nights each week in February.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #6

Editor’s Pick

• The Forked Tongue by Sweet Tart

• It is a short book: 124 pages, large font, wide spacing, maybe 30,000 words in total. And yet, unlike other books on similar topics, it does not feel like there is too little material. Rather, that Flagg is the master of brevity and precision. His is the pert aphorism, the cutting quote. He wields words like a surgeon wields a scalpel. As, indeed, he should: his topic is the use of language.

  Note: Not only does Sweet Tart do a wonderful job introducing a book to us in a well-written and concise manner (in perfect harmony with the book itself it seems) but The Forked Tongue sounds absolutely intriguing and slightly disturbing. They are both definitely worth a read!

Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Xtreme Pack Mini G-Spot Bullet by Undressed Reviews
• Hitachi Magic Wand by Mistress Kay
• SnugglePuss by Sarahbear
• Kiwi by True Pleasures
• Jenna’s Double Play by Dr. Ruthie
• Mystic Wand by Darling Dove
• Onye Fleur by Scintillectual
• Lucid Curves #21 by KissMyKitty
• Baby Bug by Sundae
• Lina by Sammi
• Better than Chocolate by Carrie Ann
• Bcurious by Epiphora
• Kokeshi Boy by Dani Darling
• Rock Chick by Susan Hansen
• Blue Bird Bullet by Shay
• LELO Mia by Pretty Power Tools
• Love Lips Lipstick by Pretty Power Tools
• Vibratex Mystic Wand by Joanna Cake

Dildos

• Vixen Creations Buck by Kaijah
• LELO Ella by Carrie Ann
• Njoy Pure Wand by Mistress Kay
• Njoy Pure Wand by Sarahbear
• Allegro by Carrie Ann

Anal Toys

• Bend Over Beginner by Undressed Reviews
• Pure Plug by Carrie Ann

Toys for Cocks

• Tera Patrick Fleshlight (Twista) by Epiphora
• Fleshlight Original Mouth by Tales from the Porn Store

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• RocketBalm: For His Pleasure by Dr. Ruthie
• Shunga Secret Garden by Carrie Ann

BDSM/Fetish

• Ball Gag with Attached Dildo by Mistress Kay
• Fulfill a Fantasy Flogger by Mistress Kay
• Purple Fur Lined Restraints by Mistress Kay
• Chicago Electric 440lb/880lb Electric Hoist by BDGuy

Adult Books & Games

• Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot & Orchid G Combo by Sammi
• Fantasies by Jack Goldstien

Adult Movies/Porn

• Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes by Epiphora
• Behind the Red Door by Undressed Reviews
• Alone for You by Garnet Joyce
• Thin Line Between Art and Sex by J.D. Bauchery
• On the Lawn by The Porn Librarian
• The 8th Day (Disc 1) by FrzKey
• Crash Pad Series – Episode 32: Cash & Stella by J.D. Bauchery
• Alpine Adventure by FrzKey

Miscellaneous

• Eat Whatever Mints by True Pleasures
• Tri-Pod Hitachi Attachment by Mistress Kay
• P-Style by Wilhelmina Wang
• Sex Sling by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• 365 Reasons To Have Sex by Cinnamon

I can’t TELL you how excited I am that my review of the LELO Elise Sweet Plum Vibrator was chosen as this week’s Editor’s Pick! This was only the second review I’ve done so I’m purty darn proud of myself right now. Thanks, Ms. Scarlet!

Remember when I said I was on hiatus from relationships? Well, I lied. I know, I know! I can hear my friends railing now about the fact that I jump into things too quickly and yes, she has already moved in with me. But, really, I do think she’s THE ONE. Before you get all hot and bothered, let me introduce you. Dear reader, this is
LELO Elise. Elise, this is dear reader. Elise was introduced to me by my fabulous friends at TabuToys. Our first meeting was a blind date, as I had never had any experience with a product from LELO before, but I must say, no matter how this relationship works out in the long run, I’m very excited for the opportunity to meet some of her ultrasexy friends!

She showed up one day in a knockout little black box. So classy. Gingerly I took her top off and discovered a little black satin number to keep her warm when she isn’t sharing my bed. Then, I turned my attention to my lovely Elise vibrator. 7.25″ tall with a 1.5″ body and curves to die for. What a delicious purple color! I had a hard time controlling myself but I wanted to wait, we had time. Elise, it turns out, is no easy lay—she came to me with an instruction manual that rivals a new video game (giving a whole new meaning to the word “joystick”), a control pad that could launch the space shuttle, and a charger that I keep trying to plug my cell phone into! I could see the future and it has her name written all over it.

The first night we spent together was rather a “dry run.” As an artist, I am a highly visual person and I really do need some sort of foreplay even when I’m going solo. I felt this was a good way to get to know each other. There were intricacies involved with Elise that I had never encountered before. I mean, this baby had range! Once I got the hang of her multiple buttons, I found that we could start out soft and slow and build our way to soft and really going (a little kiss and tell: LELO Elise is NOT a talker. She’s very quiet in bed, but that’s okay, I do enough moaning for both of us). Then came the surprise—she has not one, but two motors—the little minx! One in the tip and one at the base means that she can create five different stimulation modes. My best comparison would be the shower massage where you can turn the shower head and get different pulsations going. I’m not going to get into great detail here, because a girl has to leave something up to the imagination, but I will tell you that I really loved the “choo-choo” method. Okay, so that’s not a LELO term or something from TabuToys. It’s a pet name for the vibration that rapidly cycles and feels and sounds for all the world like Amtrak’s Acela—smooth and fancy,but you know you are on a train headed for someplace exotic. Unfortunately, that particular night, I didn’t reach my destination. I washed her carefully, slipped her into her black satin pouch, and then tucked her into her box for the night.

Our next foray was a little afternoon delight. I prepared myself with an overpriced girl-on-girl action from On-Demand (I really do need to invest in some videos of my own—I don’t think Elise is going to spring for half my cable bill). We got going pretty hot and heavy. While Elise does everything but make my breakfast (actually I haven’t tried, she’d probably whip up some mean scrambled eggs with one of her many versatile moves) she sadly doesn’t have the really focused clitoral stimulation that I need. This isn’t her fault. I need serious “Hey baby, check out the gun show going on over here. BOOM BOOM! Firepower!” But with her curves? I sent her into the front line and let her work on my g-spot to her heart’s delight. This is where her real talent lies. That girl can fuck me into submission! With a little clitoral focus on my part and Elise working her magic on the inside, we were soon making beautiful music together and I was, no doubt, causing neighborhood dogs to join me in howling the praises of my new girlfriend. I’m still waiting for the elusive masturbation-produced ejaculation, but somehow I think that LELO Elise is just the woman for the job. A few more nights together and I could be happily ruining my 600 thread-count sheets. Until then, she gets a very hearty Oh yeah, baby! Sigh…I really do think this is a relationship that will last at least a year—because she came with a warranty. *grin*

Product Details:

• Made from FDA-approved and phthalate-free ABS/ silicone

• Rechargeable: a 2-hour charge provides up to 4 hours of bliss

• The clever locking feature allows you to hold the button for 3-4 seconds to prevent it from turning on unexpectedly!

Oh. Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby! YES! YES! YES!

This item was provided by TabuToys for my honest opinions. I am not paid for my reviews but I do get to keep the products.

via visualizeus

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days.

Did you miss Pleasurists #53? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #55? Submit it here before Sunday November 22nd at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Jimmyjane Massage Candle Giveaway Deadline: November 17th @ 5pm Eastern.
• Happy Blogiversary to Me Contest! Deadline: November 18th.
• The Big, Bad, Banner Contest – win some Njoy! Deadline: November 21 @ 11:59 pm.
• Gender Carnival! Deadline: November 21st @ midnight Eastern.
• ToyDemon.com Gift Certificate Giveaway Deadline: November 30th @ noon Eastern.
• The S Spot Sexy Short Story Contest! Deadline: November 30th.
• Luxury Sex Toy Scavenger Hunt Deadline: December 12th @ midnight Pacific.
• Tons of Glass Contest! Deadline: December 27th @ 11:59 Eastern.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• LELO Ella by Victoria

• People may have no idea just how much pleasure and perfect g-spot stimulation that unassuming hunk of silicone provides. (Those fools!)
  Also, you may want to use Ella as a pretend phone, or let your other toys argue with your cats about it. Just a little suggestion of my own.

  Note: While there were many wonderful reviews this week and the EP was a difficult choice I was won over by the wonderfully amusing and fantastic pictures that accompany this review. Talk bubbles, kitties, and attempts to use a sex toy as a phone (among other amusing antics) set the review apart while the text gives you more of the usual toy information. I love it.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Evolved Flutter by Beautiful Dreamer
• Thumbelina by N
• The Eroscillator by Shay
• Classic 7 Function Monkey by Amanda
• The Wave by Amorous Rocker
• Papaya Toys Candy Stick by Ashley
• Vibratex Mystic Wand by EffinSara
• i10 Dancer Salsa by Amy

Dildos

• The Vamp by Beautiful Dreamer
• Candy Colored Glass Dildo by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Don Wands Candy Cane by Scintillectual
• The Vamp by Amber of DivergentDance
• Tantus G-Force Wand by Toygirl

Anal Toys

• Amber Plug by Cinnamon
• Crystal Chic Wand by True Pleasures
• Tantus Little Flirt by EffinSara

Toys for Cocks

• SuccuDry Masturbation Sleeve by Shay

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Intimate Organics Cleansing Gel and Body Souffle by Wilhelmina Wang
• System JO Anal Silicone Lube by ScottA
• Strawberry Shortcake Body Butter by Eliot Bodem
• B-Warm Massage Candle by Eliot Bodem
• Babeland Massage Bar by Shay
• Dr. Love Silkening Lube by Carrie Ann
• Earthly Body Massage and Body Oil by Sexorcism
• Intimate Organics Foot Foreplay Lotion by Carrie Ann

BDSM/Fetish

• Heart Lock Collar by Mistress Kay
• Chrome and Leather Crop by Undressed Reviews
• Alligator Nipple Clamps by Wendy Blackheart
• Leatherbeaten Dragon Silk Wrist Restraints by Laruel

Adult Books/Games

• Best of thee Best Women’s Erotica by Amber of DivergentDance
• Truth or Dare by Beautiful Dreamer
• Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Adult Movies/Porn

• Courtney Trouble’s Seven Minutes in Heaven by Beautiful Dreamer
• Midori’s Guide to Sensual Bondage by Beautiful Dreamer
• Manuel Ferrara Does Them All! Vol. 2 – Disc One by The Porn Librarian
• Ultra Flesh by FrzKey
• Queer Manor by J.D. Bauchery
• Love On the Highway by The Porn Librarian
• Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes (Disc 1) Scene 1 by J.D. Bauchery
• The 8th Day by Eliot Bodem

Lingerie

• Liberator Personal Secretary by Sinclair Sexsmith
• Darque Nurse by Beautiful Dreamer
• Coquette Polka-dot Mesh Corset by Sleeping Dreamer
• Bondage Bettie by True Pleasures

Storage

• Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox by Undressed Reviews

Miscellaneous

• Pjur Med Clean by Undressed Reviews
• Talking Sheep Love Doll by Tales From the Porn Store
• JimmyJane Indulgences Set by Sammi

When I first received Don Wand’s Glass Candy Cane from Tabu Toys for review, I really thought of it as a novelty item. I imagined testing it out once and then hanging it on my Christmas tree to giggle about it’s origins (and it’s most recent foray into bodily orifices) every time someone picked it up to admire it. I was proven, however, truly wrong when I finally did get around to playing with it.

First of all, it is extremely beautiful. It arrived with its own thickly padded pink velvety-textured drawstring bag and a small sample of Wet Platinum Premium Body Glide lubricant. The Candy Cane, which is made of borosilicate glass, is hefty. This is no small dildo. Its length is not for the faint of heart and it has just enough girth to it. The design itself, is intricate and it does seem a shame not to use it as a holiday decoration!

Unfortunately, I had to go solo on this one. It just seems a little awkward to ask a casual date to participate in what amounts to an erotic science experiment. The glass is temperature adjustable by soaking it in either cold or hot water prior to use. Temperature adjustable is an understatement indeed!

Tabu Toys thoughtfully provided me with a small bottle of Pjur Original Bodyglide . It was my first time using this lubricant and a little truly does go a long way. The cold glass felt deliciously smooth and tantalizing. Upon inserting it into my vagina, I realized that sucker heats up fast! My own body heat made the wand itself unbelievably hot, while the tip of the candy cane rested ice cold against my clitoris. Now I started to believe that this baby had to be taken seriously! While the curved part was made to fit my own anatomy perfectly for a little clit play, it did not, sadly, fit into my anus when turned around the other way. Although it teasingly touched, I was already up to the hilt of the 8″ wand.

It is no great secret that I’ve been on the search for the perfect g-spot vibrator so when I read that the curved end could be used for g-spot (or prostate) action, I had to get in on it. Or get it in on it, as it were. Oh, hell yeah. You don’t need an anatomy course to hit that magic spot! Although I never actually got to the waterworks, I imagine that, with a partner, this sweet treat could be a truly powerful playmate. The only drawback for me was trying to remove said curve. It was lodged firmly behind my pelvic bone and refused to budge. For a few moments I lay there, panicked, thinking of the scenario that would ensue if I had to call the paramedics for assistance! After some rather uncomfortable contortions and maneuvers, along with a great sigh of relief, I was able to withdraw it.

After much consideration, and the fact that the Candy Cane will now be part of my permanent toy collection, I am giving this beauty an Ohhh! If nothing else, the Don Wands Glass Candy Cane makes the perfect stocking stuff-her!

Product details:

• Made from nonporous borosilicate glass that will not degrade over time.

• Clean with soap and water.

• Hypoallergenic

• Store in protective, padded pouch.

Oh.   Oh…uh huh… Ohhhh! Oh yeah, baby!    YES! YES! YES!

This item was provided by Tabu Toys for my honest opinions. I am not paid for my reviews but I do get to keep the products.